Today's delights are tomorrow's expectations

"Ugh, mumble, mumble," I hear my sweetie climbing the stairs from the garage, his arms loaded with groceries.

"What say?" says me, "You didn't love your grocery experience this morning?"

"They've already changed some things around, and the new guy isn't as friendly. He wasn't much help."

"And the new guy isn't Michael." I submit my summation.

"Yes, he isn't Michael," he concedes.

My husband has been our shopper since we all locked down to stay safe in the pandemic. He migrated to one of my favorite stores and found Michael, the Produce Manager. Michael went out of his way to help, made suggestions, pointed to best choices, gave him samples, and even tracked him down later in the store to share something new. 

When he shopped this morning, Sweetie was hit with "today's delights are tomorrow's expectations." When we love something just the way it is, we're not likely to migrate to the new thing easily. Kindness and service felt so good, he's begrudging having it taken away.

It had to be Lee Zinsli that taught me this enlightening human behavior theory. Because he was the Sales and Marketing VP, his insights were often customer focused (today's customer delights are tomorrow's customer expectations) but the idea works regardless. Lee was my first mentor, maybe my only real mentor. I haven't seen him in years, but I still love him and what he taught me. As it turns out, the expectations quote is a good reminder for Human Design students. 

While we are making transformations, we must respect the needs of ourselves and others (unconditional), and tell the truth (fearless), AND be aware when we say things like,

I'm not going to be able to that . . .

That doesn't work for me as is . . .

No, thank you . . .

You should know that . . . 

I need . . . 

I would love . . . 

I have a request . . .

. . . if these are things we don't say all the time, it will be noticed by those around us. Those around us often liked it better when we said "yes," and "of course." Us giving up or giving in became the expectation of delight. Our newly found recognition of what we need and how we operate will be like the new guy in the produce section--unwanted by the old customers who have grown accustomed to your excellent service. 

Being unconditional and fearless means we (learn to) approach our truth telling with kindness and grace. We must remind ourselves right before each conversation, "Today's (customer) delights are tomorrow's (customer) expectations." We must sideline our frustration, anger or resentment over expectations we helped set. We must listen with vulnerability. There is no room in a relationship for how things are currently AND a new order. Something has to change. And others can't/won't make change until we change our own behavior. Accepting the objections of others with grace will be crucial to leading your own transformation.

I'm rooting for you.