Don't settle . . . ask for what you want

One of the equally delightful and annoying things my sweetie brought to my life is a knack for asking for what he wants. He was raised on the east coast, me on the "left coast." He learned it can't hurt to ask. Not only did I not learn to ask, I never learned how to glean what I want from others' expectations of what I should want. He has made me squirm with some of the things he has asked others for. . . tickets, parking places, meals, you name it. He is that engaging stranger you are compelled to invite to dinner. But often people give him things because he has the courage to ask. It alternately delights and confounds me. But his behavior has undeniably affected my own.

"I bet you could help me choose," she called from the jewelry counter. "Which one of these do you like best?"

"Well the one on the left won my heart when we were watching the artist's demo," I confessed. "But it's more important that whatever you buy wins your heart. Which one do you like best?"

"Well I have clothes to match both of them," she hesitated.

"But which one do you really love?"

"Well the one I really love isn't here. It was at the demo, but there isn't one like it here."

"Which one was that?"

"Oh, it was pink and blue," her eyes danced in the memory.

"Then why don't you have this lady call the artist and have her deliver it? You have a day-and-a-half until we leave."

"Do you think that would be okay?"

"I think you should have the one you really love, and it can't hurt to ask." Oftentimes the distance between what we want and what we settle for is the courage to ask.

Sure enough the artist was contacted, happy to deliver the necklace, and the woman was elated to buy the thing she really wanted.

Piece of cake. Next.

Sometimes the most difficult part is figuring out what you truly want. You might have been conditioned to believe what you want is selfish or unnecessary. When you pay attention to your body, however, and how you feel, it's not that difficult to figure out. The knot in your shoulder, shortness in your breath, even pit in your stomach are enough to get a clue when you are settling for less.