The power of community

Emotional 𖤓    Social 𖤉

"We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free."

Starhawk

I'm just back from a weekend retreat at the coast where we work with people who are trying to make changes in their lives. They tell us their dreams and we tell them ours. We talk about what we are doing to make some change, and what's holding us back. Soul work, important stuff, beyond the small talk of the Olympics and facebook.

I looked out over the group of nine this weekend and couldn't help but think about Tom (former beloved counselor) who tried to get me to join "group"--a collection of patients who met regularly to discuss . . . I guess I really never knew. I declined. Several times. I think I'd seen too many movies and sitcoms about "group." I really didn't want to bare my soul to a handful of strangers, and wasn't keen on hearing their stuff either.

What I didn't know then was that "group" was a community--a handful of travelers trying to get rid of their monkeys/gremlins/demons by keeping a commitment to come check in and share stories with others. No better learning than hearing what happened to someone else. Our group at the coast was made up of bright, curious people who want more out of their lives and are willing (at least in spirit) to go for it.

What I didn't understand about Tom's "group" was the power the community had to support change for its members.

I saw at least 7 benefits for most people this weekend:

• Having and getting to speak out loud about what's working and what's not (coveted clarity). 
• Having others listen. 
• Keen, insightful questions. 
• Ahas about things previously misunderstood. 
• Being able to report on others'"blindspots" (things we know but they don't). 
• Laughter at our fallible human selves, the joy of shared humanity. 
• The recognition that we are small and making change is big. 

I used to attend a nearby Sangha, a buddist meditation community. The amazing thing about that particular Sangha is that for the first 40 minutes we just sat, eyes closed, body surrendered, breath peaceful, free from suffering. While there was a lesson and chanting that followed, the sitting itself was inspiring. Where else in your life are you surrounded by a group of people all looking for quiet minds?

At some point one of the nine bright and curious people said, "I just feel blessed to be part of a group that comes together to talk about important stuff. I don't have this in any other part of my life," which made me cry.