Even when we're smart and really trying

Those of you moving from the honeymoon stage with Human Design where you found out how really cool you are, and are now taking steps to return to your true energy (by moving beyond your conditioning), please be kind to yourself. Even when we're smart and really trying, change is hard.

You already have a full life, with people around that count on you for for all kinds of things. Sometimes changes in us are met with resistance from those same people. It’s realistic to assume there will be push-back when we change. It works best if when we talk about it, we are unconditional to ourself and others (no matter what), and fearless (accepting and standing in our own energy).

No matter how deep your study of HD, your experimentation likely waxes and wanes between such things as learning what it means to be a Generator, and the rush of the day. We all know which one wins. It takes courage to stay the course. For those with undefined Willpower, the path can take a little longer. The good news is with Human Design, for every energy-correct action you take, you get an equal energy-correct smoothing of the path in front of you.

During the keynote speech at an herbalist conference I attended a few years ago, the speaker was asked to talk about how he deals with the dissonance between the perfect world he seeks and the imperfect world he must endure. His answer was inspiring to me as a seeker, and I think applies to all of us trying to create, lead or embrace change.

What that speaker said was, "Carve out temporary autonomous zones where you have the space and time to practice what you believe, and talk about what you believe to relieve the stress."

Carving out time is necessary of course because without dedicated time the crisis of the day wins, and we choose status quo. The good news is this is something we can control. Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way suggests scheduling artist dates with ourselves. Such dates remind us we are artists, and pay homage by connecting us with ourselves an our art. Even in you don't consider yourself an artist, setting "me" time aside can be transformational. What would you do if you allotted time just to follow your curiosity?

Practicing what we believe, especially if we are figuring it out as we go along is a little trickier until we learn to appreciate even the smallest progress. The motto in our house is "baby steps, baby steps, progress, progress." Keeping our eye on the change we seek and celebrating small wins is motivating. Practice is essential to refining our skills. We make practice a practice. A blog is a good place for me to practice writing. I practice so when the perfect story (photo) finds me I will be ready to write (shoot) it.

Talking about what we believe (that is, the change we envision) adds fuel to our actions. These conversations can take place 1:1 or if we speak to audiences, more. Each time we speak about what we believe we get clearer. We distill our bright light into a laser that stokes our actions. We take steps. Each time we speak about it we are creating vision and intention, inviting in new insights and assistance.

I was more than mildly uncomfortable in my first few art sales until I found out how excited people are to hear the story behind the art. When we talk about what inspires us, it inspires others to connect with their passion.

Asking for support. Having people to help you may be as critical as choosing to seek itself. Based on what we know about change, it's not surprising that people get discouraged and quit. Friend, relative, partner--whomever you can get to be supportive and tough in their interactions with you about your commitments to change (as long as they are unconditional and fearless in their support).

Dealing with the monkeys. There is a "monkey mind" that can take over when you seek your authentic self. Monkey mind is negative self-chatter that can detail all the reasons why you shouldn't. For those of you with open Willpower, you can also feel like to have to earn your worthiness. It is important to learn to acknowledge your monkeys and learn how to speak to them. Some of them are truly your own negative self-talk. Some of them are negative voices from your past or present--the voice of disapproval we fear. “Who do you think you are?” is a common monkey-mind challenge to a disruption of status quo.

Use past successes to guide change. There is no greater predictor of success than having successfully accomplished in the past. Think of a time when you made a tough change . . . what exactly did you do? Now replicate that.

• Carve out time, then
• Practice/talk about what you believe
• Ask for support--seek other seekers
• Deal with the monkeys
• Use past successes to guide change