Theater of the Absurd Moment

Once you've seen Human Design you can't unsee it. The amazement of reading the body chart or having it read for you, alone, is captivating. Most people talk about how "seen" or validated they feel after hearing about their energy. "You're telling me that the things I thought were weird about me aren't weird?" is a common comment. My belief is that once we've been seen, we are unwilling to back to being invisible. 

So I go through my life now looking at all things with an energy lens, sometimes beyond the Theater of the Absurd. I usually keep my musings to myself, but I'm going to be bold and share.

Please, suspend judgment here, and go with me for 3 minutes. It might be fun. 

Cultivating Change

2016 was a pretty awful year for me. I couldn't look away from a spiteful election though it made me physically ill. My Gate 57, which often allows me to spot a scoundrel in the room first, made me afraid for the Earth. I feared a president that saw the planet as a commodity, and viewed climate catastrophe as a hoax, would make things worse for the environment for decades to come. You see, I hail from a clan of unapologetic dirt worshippers. Oregonians. My elders all worked their city lots--Mom with her roses, Nana and her dahlias and Auntie Grace doting on sweet peas. I joked that Mom, who worked as a hair stylist until she was 77, couldn't stop herself standing on her feet at work for 10 hours and then mow and rake and fond over backyard flowerbeds another 10. Mom judged others by whether or not their lawn was mowed AND edged. 

Unconditional and fearless

I first learned about "differentiation" reading David Schnarch's Passionate Marriage a couple of decades ago. The word itself came from the field of mathematics in the 1600s--think Isaac Newton. Over time, its meaning expanded into the fields of geology and biology. Schnarch's psycho-social perspective repurposed the word to describe the progressive, internal interplay of humans between autonomy (separation) and connection (togetherness). Schnarch is a sex therapist. Differentiation, however, goes far deeper as a practice than a remedy for a couple's sexual gridlock.

Differentiation is the ability to hang on to your unique self and what you need, even when those around you, including those you love, disagree. Differentiation is navigating your own boat and allowing others around you to navigate theirs. As long as we sail down life's river maintaining status in our own vessel, the trip can be smooth. If we find ourselves climbing onto the boat of another to adjust their navigation (control how they feel or travel the journey, or blame them for how we feel), we create a hazard. it's time to step back, climb back on our own deck and reflect on why we feel the need to navigate for others. There's plenty of work to be done on our own boat. In the end, differentiation is a gentle push for us to be all we can be by being who we are, and occasionally growing up and out of obsolete ways of being, especially in our relationships.

Energy's powerful influence on parent/child relationships and child development

"N-o-o-o-o," she screams as my daughter finally grabs her and carries her out of the playroom. "N-o-o-o-o, I don't want to go. I want to stay with Nana. N-o-o-o-o-o," she screams as she they drive away. This is the scene every week for a year and a half, once my granddaughter begins to exercise her voice. The predictable, worsening scene wears on my daughter, and fractures our relationship. The child never wants to leave what she is doing, and especially when leaving here. Their altercations are breathtaking. It often takes me a day to recover.